I was sitting at the back row in my Principle of Microecon class in Freshman year, when our professor started explaining the basic principle of trading. I was already zoned out, day dreaming, exhausted for the 3pm class. But as he spoke, a voice inside me suddenly snapped into attention and told me to listen. He explained that its never about the absolute advantage, its always about comparative advantage. As long as each party is comparatively better at production of one commodity, they will benefit from trade. I remember clearly thinking to myself ‘that’s economics I will be using to change my life someday’ – actually that was my inner voice, loud and clear. Fast forward 7 years later, with a Masters in Economics, I was sitting inside my rented apartment in Raleigh, NC, broke, and extremely anxious if a job will arrive at my door. I had already received multiple rejections – mostly all for the industry I had actually studied for. I suddenly remembered the principle of comparative advantage, which led me to look up jobs in industries where demand for my skills were high but low in supply. Marketing. I wasn’t the perfect candidate , and have never considered Marketing – but I had discovered my comparative advantage. Needless to say, I applied and got called for an interview in two weeks. It was in Boston. The job offer came another two weeks later. I had only $200 left at my account at that point. Talk about Divine timing.
This inner voice – instinct, gut feeling or quiet knowing – has been with me numerous times. When I first came to check out the apartment I have been living in now since 2015 summer, the appearance of the place was anything but convincing. The apartment was very dirty, and grossly messy, it was a challenge to cross any part of the floors in kitchen or living room, without stepping on/over/around something. Rational mind would start yelling siren under such conditions but something inside of me said ‘Yes’. It was not for what it was, but I could sense the palpating potential of this apartment represented. It was instinct perhaps – this inner voice – telling me to move here, and with this roommate. I had my anxiety and doubts even as I signed the papers, but something inside me said ‘Go on. This is the way’. The papers were signed in April 2015 – its not exactly the move in time in Boston. But thanks to my depressing experience with my ex-roommate, I was forced to go apartment hunting in April, although my lease did not end till August. As so happens, when I discovered this listing on Craigslist, my current roommate had only a week more left to find someone. Again Divine timing.
And my inner sense was again on point – my roommate turned out to be possibly the best roommate I had had. She is my 9th roommate (yep- Craigslist), and after almost a dozen addresses, I finally found an apartment, where I felt I could be completely myself and have my own space. A month later, I realized this apartment was adjacent the very neighborhood I fell in love with when I first moved to Boston. I had no idea I had moved to a location with extremely abundant transportation, green hills and beautiful reservoir with white swans and flocks of geese. It was pure magic, and the magic did not end there. If it wasn’t for her and her working in the healthcare industry, she would probably not have given me the nudge to apply to hospitals for a job, which I ended up getting only within two months following the conversation, against some odds. And this job has been magic. I did not know you could have a place to work where you actually want to go in everyday. Besides the amazing environment, I met some of the most interesting and beautiful people, including few who have shifted my life to higher dimensions (without knowing it). Through my colleague, I discovered yoga. Through yoga, I started my unfolding – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I started tangibly facing my own limitations, and realizing my capacity to overcome them. I met instructors and guides who spoke of the Truth, that I resonated but could never express before. I started healing – releasing years of stored emotional trauma, and the heaviness of chronic illness from the cells of my body. I stopped only trying to survive, and found space to just be. It has been pure magic, and all was perfect Divine Timing. It was 2016, and now I see, it was only the beginning.
As I find myself slowly but surely becoming less anxious about life, and more grateful and trusting of Diving timing, and a possible Divine Plan, I am awestruck by the abundance that becomes available to us, only if we ask, and follow that instinct. I read somewhere that “Intuition cannot always be trusted, but it should never be ignored” . I don’t want to paint this spiritual development and awareness experience as a picture of serendipitous lotus, unfolding at sunrise. Because it has been a lot of shit - heavy clouds of doubts, anxiety, frustrations, despair and grief. A lot of darkness which requires us to keep going. Sometimes it felt like someone pulled the rug from underneath my feet and fast, and more than once. But the lotus grows from the nutrition derived from the muddy soil. And it grows and unfolds beautiful and strong, delicate yet certain, each petal opening exactly when its suppose to, at a Divinely prescribed, precisely calculated pace. May be the lotus always know – being part of Mother Nature, it was has a inner knowing in its DNA – that asks it to breach through the muddy water, because there it will find Light. And the Light will help it become what it was always meant to be.