Being in survival mode for the past eleven years, I have gotten lost in a singular view of myself and how to make life work for me. I lost a sense of being part of something bigger. In the past few days, I have been feeling a sense of community with those I cross path with. In some way or the other, wanted or unwanted, agreeable or not, we are all connected. The radius can range far, from micro communities of those living under the same roof - our families and roommates to those strangers you share the train ride with. How am I supporting this community? Is my presence being of support? Who are we, if not part of each other?
Though my cynical mind opens the door with caution, I feel a sense of mixed relief to know I am not the only one here.
May be I am searching for magic
In the sky
In the places
In the faces -
Dang it I will not only survive
I will thrive!
I will reset my DNA
For the love of my daughter to come,
I will release my preconceived notions
And build a better world for my son.
And even if my open wings can only cover my nest
They will carry a Kingdom within
Where doubts had no place,
And fears have been put to rest.
And if so shall happens, that the ghost of uncertainty returns
They will know how to swim,
They will know how to fly -
Damn it they won't only survive, they will thrive!
When we first started learning physics in school, I was having difficulty in grasping one basic concept in physics - the concept of initial velocity. To me, initial velocity was always suppose to equal 0 because we always start at 0. It confused me that it was always not the case. Being unable to visualize what was going on, my primary physics mentor then - my brother - explained it to me as such: he asked me to visualize that both our parents and my brothers were traveling in a car at x km/hr. Then God suddenly decided to drop me inside the car between them, while the car was traveling at x km/hr. Therefore, the initial velocity for me would be x km/hr, while to rest of the folks in the car it was 0.
I got it crystal clear.
Fast forward sixteen years, I was sitting in the train, and found myself observing a human being - first I observed her gender, then her skin color, subconsciously assigning a culture and a race. Then I proceeded to notice her clothes, and her accessories, once again mentally evaluating her age, whether she was a professional or a student. My mind even went as far as to assign personality traits to this stranger till I caught myself. I suddenly felt very tired by my own thoughts, and wanted to stop this auto-pilot. Not just because the thoughts had faulty foundation, but my eyes wanted to see her differently.
Once I read about this guy who was color blind when it came to skin colors. His best friend was African american and he did not even notice. What if I could view people through that lens? Not just race but gender and appearance. What if nobody had pointed out to me these aspects about us? What would I notice if I am looking at someone for the first time? How do I consciously move into a 'fool's' mentality, where my perception is unaffected? What would my experience of world be like?
Sometimes I try to imagine, if I was suddenly dropped into being inside the current moment in life, what would be my initial velocity? Who would I be? Who would you be to me?